-you are related to more than half the town.

-you call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.

-it takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.

-the local gas station sells live bait.

-you know cow pies aren't made of beef.

-your car breaks down outside of town and news of it reaches back to town before you do.

-there's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

-during a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.

-you don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

-all your radio preset buttons are country.

-you go to the State Fair for your family vacation.

-you pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.

-you're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

-you go to the river because it's almost like going to the ocean.

-you have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.

-using the elevator involves a corn truck.

-you want to buy manure.

-you leave your snow tires on year-round.

-you are walking knee-deep in snow.

-you can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

-you wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.

-you can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.

-you know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.

-you can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

-you can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot apart.

-your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.

-the meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.