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	Mercurius Pragmaticus Communicating Intelligence from all Parts touching all Affaires, Designes, Humors, and Conditions throughout the Kingdome Especially from Westminster, and the Head Quarters.
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Mercurius Pragmaticus

From Tuesday, Decem 21, to Tuesday Decem. 28, 1647*

Live, Drinke, and laugh our Worthies may
And kindly take their fills;
The Subjects must their Reckonings pay,
The King must passe their Bills.

No Princes now but they; the Crowne
Is vanish't with our Quiet.
Nor will they let us use our owne
Devotions and Diet.

All Plums the Prophets-Sonnes desie,
And Spice-broths are too hot;
Treason's in a December-Pie,
And Death within the Pot.

CHRISTMAS farewell, thy DAY (I feare)
And merry-daies are done;
So They may keep FEASTS all the yeere,
Our SAVIOUR shall have none.

---- Nemo me impune lacessit

HIS Majesty is like now to keepe a Joviall Christ-Tide (I warrant you) considering what rare Measses our Statemongers have sent him by their Commissioners; even a dish or two of Choak-peare Bills, which will never down with him, and are fit to entertaine a King, as that daily allowance which they give him, in bread and water of Affliction. Nevertheless, certaine Limbes of both the Factions are shipt away upon several Designes; the one sort on purpose to demand a surrender of his Crowne and Dignity, and wrest it out of his hands with that foure-legged Toole called the Bills, or else to pronounce an Anathema upon the personall-Treaty : The other to bid a Maranatha to the Bills, in hope to bring his Majesty a Cock-horse ere long with Presbyterie to London, and ring all in to the divine service of the Directory with lowd peales for a personall-Treaty.

The truth is, the Scots speake nobly in most parts of their late Answere to the Houses; but the Truth is too, they are like to spoile all in many places, which looke so like the distracted ejaculations of an Assembly-man; especially in that Vinegar-Plea for the Covenant in matter of Church-Government, that it makes me often have a soure-Face when I looke upon it : And if this be the way, they may as well travell North-ward to goe to the Isle of Wight, as hope to bring his Majesty by a friendly Accomodation out of the South. For what may wee thinke else but that their Designe is by specious Pretences to worme in the affections of his Majesties friends at present, in hope thereby to quell the power of Independency, as the Independents by the same trick did theirs of the Presbyterie, and then to wheele back to their old-game againe ? But we hope better things of them, and shall be vigilant of their behaviour, and admirers of their policie and discretion, when we finde by experience, that they will (by degrees) wave that part of the Covenant which tends to the ruine of our famous Church, and cling close to that which concernes the honour and happinesse of the King, and tranquillity of the Kingdomes. For, though they seem to hope, that his Majesty will incline to them that particular, and to this end urge that place of Scripture which sayes, the Hearts of Kings are in the hands of God to turne them as the Rivers of water whithersoever he pleaseth : Yet they cannot but know, that by the Grace and mercy of God, his Majesty is so firmly grounded, that he will never (nor can he without evident ruine) depart from these Religious and Royall Principles, wherein consists the very life and being of his own Interest, and that of the true Apostolick Religion and Discipline.

And now there cannot choose but be great hope of both again, when the Houses begin to fall to building of Churches; for, they have issued our an Order to repaire them; but I heare not of a penny of money towards the businesse, only they had a coole-debate about it, and then laid it aside, to consider of Affairesmore pertinent to this Reformation, and that is the devouring of Churches; in which kind of Diet they have excellent Stomacks, and made more spoyle than all the Earth-quakes since the Conquest.

But this being meate for their Masters, therefore to prevent Thunder and Lightning from Windsor, seeing the Souldiers are resolved the Houses shall not have Deanes and Chapter Lands for a second-Course after the Bishops, therefore they shall have them for their Arreares; which though they be valued by the Houses above Angels food, and the Assembly lick their lips at them for an addition to their maintenance; yet those many Sadduces in the Army, which deny the Resurrection, may lose those Heavenly Injoyments which they dreame of here, if they should misse of the possession, and stand to the courtesie of the Houses in this world, or of God in that which is to come.

And this they are none of them resolved to do, and beauteous Dr. Burges (for his part) hath taken up an old Proverb to practice by, though it be none of Solomon's, and judges a Bird in hand worth two in the Bush : And having long since found much comfort in living upon Gods providence and the Plunder of Cathedralls, waites every houre in these tempestuous times to catch the Wind-falls of the State : For, there having beene a godly motion made to re-edefie St. Gregorie's Church by Pauls, it was judged necessary to make use of the stones lying there for the reparation of this, and imploy them in building the other; and thus the old sacrilegious Proverb is transform'd, by robbing Paul to pay Gregory, whereupon, the smoaky Doctor (more Hog than Goose, and of the same Complexion with Brutus that stab'd Caesar in the Senate) hath a Designe of Copulation in hand (being as good as it as ever twang'd, if we may believe the Records of the High Commission;) and that this is by Ordinance to make Gregory's an Appendix to Pauls; for, having beene a faire time in the Deanery, he would faine creep a little nearer toward London-house, and then it is but a step thither, if the Covenanters should catch the Cramp in their Cause, and now knowing which way to move, agree to let us have Bishops again.

But by their good wills that shall never be, Bishops being reputed altogether as uselesse as Kings; And therefore the Houses to shew, that they are the Princes of the People, have added twelve Halberdiers more to their Guard, on purpose to keep out the personall Treaty, and fright away all Scotch interest from Westminster : And when I observe how those Halberdiers use to make a Lane on both sides, me-thinkes as the Members come forth they looke as if they were going to a Triall.

And therefore the Lords, for feare the Commons should leave them in the lurch at last, to pay for all the Sinnes of the Cause, with much adoe (because the Commons matter not whether they sink or swim) obteined leave to have certaine of their Members added to the Committee for the Navy; which had never beene granted had it not beene for my Lord Say's own deare sake, whose case upon occasion of clearing himselfe by Sea, is as considerable as any of the money changers, that have converted our Temples into Dens of Thieves, since otherwise they may chance to have whipping : And therfore his Lordship hath Craned himselfe into that shipping Committee, and with the same Pullies drawn up the Earles of Northumberland, Kent, Pembroke, Rutland, Nottingham, Salisbury, Warwick, Manchester, Musgrave, and Stamford; the Lords, Dacres, De-la-ware, Wharton, North, Grey of Werke, Howard of Estrick, Herbert, Bruce, the Erle of Denbigh, and Lord Montague; both which last are gone to the Isle of Wight, to doe nothing and come back home againe, to tell what hope they have of his Majesty, and how little of the Scots, that the Navy may be Ordered accordingly.

Then these things being so, what made men are our wise Compounders ? For, I heare of no lesse than 40 Compositions passed by the Committee in one weeke; whereas (to my knowledge) heretofore it had beene much if wee had known but half so many Petitions granted there in as much more time : So that Husbands being tired out with daily attendance, were forced in the end to make Sollicitors of their Wives for the more speedy Dispatch; and women were never denyed the taking off their Husbands, if themselves could be brought under Sequestration. But now the Committee being in haste; they have no leisure for such Affaires, but keep open shop, and like Button-makers of Paternoster-Row, crie what d'ye lack to all Customers : Sequestrations of all sorts and sizes (Gentlemen) may be taken off now; which may be some comfort to our learned Compounders, that though they lose their wits and money together, yet they shall get their own Children : But Heaven send them more Braines than their Fathers.
For, beginning to wheele about so handsomly, the Houses have occasion to wheele off as fast as they can, and therefore they have put Mr. Wheeler in the Chaire, as the most necessary Toole in a certaine Committee, whose businesse it is to punish all stubborne Delinquents that will not be drawn in : Because lands being somewhat too combersome for transportation, it is convenient as much Silver Ore as may be, should be fetch'd out of them : For, to this end they cri'de up the diana of this Reformation, with more furious up-roares at London, then ever their Predecessors did at Ephesus.

And time being very precious, it is sport alone to observe how their wits work every way for money; and have accordingly told us their minds, that all those Counties that will (at, or before the 15 of January next) pay 6 of the 9 months now in Arreare, shall be forgiven the other three. Gramercy horse : But if they will not, then the Free-Quarterers must visit them. And if you would know the reason of this their goodnes & liberality in for giving up 3 months Tax due to the Souldiers, it is for no other end but to lay up as much more out of it for themselves, and then perhaps the other third part shall drop down upon the Army, as an extraordinary blessing from the Houses; who have fed them hitherto with Bits, as They for a time have done the Members with knocks; which they well deserve for their ingratitude, having never rewarded his Ecexllencie with so much as a Guelding for all his services, unlesse it were in matter o Arreares.

And now the whole businesse of the Houses is to mend their manners in this particular, if Covetousnesse will give them leave, and accordingly an Ordinance is in the Forge for security to the Souldiers upon the Bishops, Forrest-lands, Excise and for Stating their Accompts : whereas the only way in the world, were for the Souldiers to wave Security, and make ready money; which they might soone doe, if the Members were made to State their Accompts, for all the Taxes received toward the maintenance of the Army : For : it is not impossible but the Tide may turne with the humors of the People in a short time, and then there will be little Security for themselves, or the Members.

And certainly, the Souldiers cannot but observe, that ready cash is very necessary, seeing their Servants in Westminster get in all they can, and as fast as they can : for, they have more waies yet than are ordinarily taken notice of , and I told you last weeke the Ordinance for putting the Kings friends out of the Line, was a meere device to fish money out of their Purses, that would buy out the Treason of their stay in London, or purchase a liberty to stay : which being considered by certaine nobel Lords, whom they call Delinquents, they made their Addresses to the House of Lords for a liberty to stay notwithstanding the Ordinance; which being entertayned by them, and sent downe to the Commons for consent, the matter was laid aside, as not fit to the yeelded unto at that time, for feare all the Trade should run through the house of Lords; for, though the Commons have many money-Committees wherein there are no Lords, yet their Lordships must know that they ought not traffick at any time without some of the Commons to joyne with them : And so the next News we heare of, will be a Committee of both to part Stakes in the businesse.
So that all the Achan Cavaliers may know then which way to goe to worke, and become as secure, as the Members thinke themselves, since they made a shift to stop the mouthes of the Assembly-men, these unlucky-Birds that croke about the Abby at Westminster : for, if the Dawes should not be often cram'd, they should be sure to heare of it in the next fast-Sermon; and if that will not doe, then the luke-warmnesse of the Members shall be proclam'd round the Citydrums beaten up in the Pulpits.

And therefore it is that the Houses (to prevent mischiefe) have taken many of them into consideration, and are providing New-yeres-gifts for them, by some timely gratuities for former Services, which the world is not sufficient to requite, seeing they have ventured their Soules as freely, as others have done their Bodies.

And among the rest, there is a particular allowance of five hundred pounds, voted for Stephen Marshall and Philip Nye. These are the two maine Pick-locks, that can open the Consciences of both the Factions at any time, that the Purses of the City may be opened with the more ease and unanimity; and to this end they set the rest of their Brethren to worke when they please (there being no shop like a Church) who are but journey-men to these two, Stephen being super-intendent to Presbyterie, and Philip to Indepencie; and yet both of them are what you please upon all occasions.

But seeing this is time wherein all men are abhor'd that stick close to honest-Principles, it can be no wonder to see such errand kick-shawes in credit where the more noble and solid Divines are put by all preferment or imployment, or at least stistasted; witnesse that tedious Debate the other day, when it was put to the Question, whether his Grace of Armagh (that living Library, and walking Temple) should continue Preacher of Lincolns-Inne; and madnesse prevailed so farre, that the House was faine to divide and reckon per pole about it; and at length it was agreed that he should continue upon condition hee will take the Negative Oath, that is, if he will deny his Lord and Master, according to the Soule-saving doctrine of these desperate times, wherein Ignorance hath the Chaire, and Impudence the Pulpit.

For the better propogation of which two Qualities, the maine duties of the Ministry; which consist in sound-Doctrine and well-composed-Prayer, must be laid aside; and the Committee for Plundring of Ministers is Ordered an enabled to send for, and silence all Protestant Ministers that Preach, or use the Booke of Common-Prayer; and the Militia of London must take care to thrust them out of the Lines of Communication; so that wee understand now. Liberty of Conscience must extend to all but conscientious men.
Nor is it enough that they vex the Ministers of Christ, but away likewise with all the Feasts of the Church, celebrated by the devotion of purest Times. Christmas must be no Idoll now; all the Innocence and mirth of former daies must be wholly banish'd to make roome for Oppression and Destruction. And therefore the aforesaid Committee for plundring of Ministers had power given them to punish Church-wardens that countenance Preaching upon Christmas day : And to make sure work, they dispatched Messengers of their own into the City to stop the mouths of the Messengers of God, being resolved to make the world know, that a Message of theirs shall bee of more Reverence and Authority.

And to manifest, that if it were in their power, they had stomack enough having acted Pilate already, by crucifying Christ in his Members, to play likewise the part of Herod, and destroy him in his Cradle; therefore they would allow him as little honour as might be, upon the day of his Nativity, and contrived which way to dishonour him publiquely. For, as Mr. Hall of St.Bartholomews the lesse was ready to ascend the Pulpit, one of their Catch-poles came and saluted him with a Warrant to appeare before the Plundering-Committee, which hee and divers others of eminence in Religion and Learning, were covented, and made to know it was in vaine to pleade for ancient holy-Orders, among the Musters of so many confused Innovations.

Nor was John Warner's worship a whit lesse diligent in the City; for, besides those many Mandamusses which he sent abroad to forbid preaching upon that day, one memorable Story needs be Chronicled, which is this. The Porters of Cornhill having dress't up the Conduit with Ivie, Rose-mary and Baies, and such other Superstitious ware, the report of it put his Lordships zeale into such a flame, that his Horse, and He, and the City Marshall, went all in their proper persons (pontificalibus and all) to set it on fire.
And now, In the name of God Amen, the holly and Ivy was fixed so high, that command was given for Ladders, which were brought, but it was ill venturing up, when so many Waggs were thronging beneath : So that when they saw all things in Order, his Lordship ready mounted, and no execution performed, the Boyes of sixteene-parishes that came thither to be merry with their Lord Mayor, entertained his great clemency and goodnes with so notable a shout, that his Nag began to retreat upon the galliard of Sinks-a-pace; which the roguing Bhyes admiring and hooting, made him leave those stately tricks, and for the honor of Christmas shew more gambols than Banks his Horse, ever did, and with farre more activity; For, now the furious Beast begins to ramble from Pent-house to Pent-house, and as if St.George were to come againe to encounter the Dragon, courses all points of the Compasse through the Streets so long, that it is supposed his Lordship could not choose but be in the same pickle with his brother Atkins Breeches; which the Housesjumbling of his joynts, for feare of losing so worthy a Reformer.

A Clout, A Clout or else a good Bone-setter:
Make much of this; for, seldome comes a better.

FINIS.

[Note: On December 25th 1647, Parliament suppressed Christmas Celebrations - and at this time Charles I is imprisoned in Carisbrooke Castle on the Isle of Wight and would be executed at Whitehall 13 months later on 30th January 1649]