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The TATLER.
By Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq.
Veniunt a Dote Sagittoe. Juv.

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Some Selected Reports from The TATLER



From Tuesday January 31, to Thursday February 2, 1709.






From my own Apartment, February 1.
THIS Morning I received a Letter from a Fortune Hunter, which being better in its Kind than Men of that Character usually write, I have thought fit to communicate to the Publick.

To Isaac Bickerstaff Esq;

SIR,
I Take the Boldness to recommend to your Care, the inclos'd Letter, not knowing how to communicate it but by your Means to the agreeable Country Maid you mention with so much Honour in your Discourse concerning the Lottery.
I should be ashamed to give you this Trouble , without offering at some small Requital: I shall therefore direct a new Pair of Globes and a Telescope of the best Maker, to be left for you at Mr. Morphew's, as a Testimony of the great Respect with which I am
Your most humble Servant, &c.

To Mopsa in Sheer-Lane.
Fairest Unknown,

IT being discovered by the Stars, that about Ten Months hence, you will run the Hazard of being persecuted by many worthless Pretenders to your Person, unless timely prevented, I now offer my Service for your Security against the Persecution that threatens you. This is therefore to let you know, That I have conceived a most extraordinary Passion for you; and that for several Days I have been perpetually haunted with the Vision of a Person I have never yet seen. To satisfy you that I am in my Senses, and that I do not mistake you for anyone of higher Rank, I assure you, that in your daily Employment, you appear to my imagination more agreeable in a short scanty Petticoat, than the finest Woman of Quality in her spreading Fardingal; and that the dextrous Twirl of your Mop has more native Charms, than the studied Airs of a Lady's Fan. In a Ward, I am captivated with your Menial , Qualifications: The Domestick Virtues adorn you like Attendant Cupids; Cleanliness and healthful Industry wait on all your Motions; and Dust and Cobwebs fly your Approach.
Now, to give you an honest Account of my self, and that you may see my Designs are honorable, I am an Esquire of an ancient Family, born to about Fifteen Hundred Pounds a Year, half of which I have spent in discovering my self to be a Fool, and with the rest am resolv'd to retire with some plain honest Partner, and study to be wiser. I had my Education in a Lac'd Coat, and a French Dancing-School; and by my Travel into Foreign Parts, have just as much Breeding to spare, as you may think you want, which I intend to exchange as fast as I can for Old English Honesty and good Sense. I will not impose on you by a false Recommendation of my Person, which (to shew you my Sincerity) is none of the handsomest, being of a Figure somewhat short; but what I want in Length, I make out in Breadth. But in Amends for that and all other Defects, if you can like me when you see me, I shall continue to you, whether I find you Fair, Black or Brown,
27 Jan 1709/1710
The most constant of Lovers.

This Letter seems to be written by a Wag, and for that Reason I am not much concern'd for what Reception Mopsa shall think fit to give it; but the following certainty preceeds from a poor Heart, that languishes under the most deplorable Misfortune that possibly can befal a Woman. A Man that is treacherously dealt with in Love, may have Recourse to many Consolations, He may gracefully break through all Opposition to his Mistress or explain with his Rival; urge his own Constancy, or aggravate the Falshood by which it is repay'd. But a Woman that is ill treated, has no Refuge in her Griefs but in Silence and Secrecy. The World is so unjust, that a Female Heart which has been once touched, is thought for ever blemished. The very Grief in this Case is looked upon as a Reproach and a Complaint almost a Breach of Chastity. For these Reasons, we see Treachery and Falshood are become as it were Male-Vices, and are seldom found, never acknowledged, in the other Sex. This may serve to introduce Statira's Letter, which, without any Turn or Art, has something so pathetical and moving in it, that I verily believe it to be true, and therefore heartily pity the injured Creature that writ it.

To Isaac Bickerstaff Esq;

SIR,
You seem in many of your Writings to be a Man of a very compassionate Temper, and well acquainted with the Passion of Love. This encourages me to apply my self to you in my present Distress, which I believe you will look upon to be very great, and treat with Tenderness, notwithstanding it wholly arises from Love, and that it is a Woman who makes this Confession. I am now in the Twenty third Year of my Age, and have for a great while entertained the Addresses of a Man who I thought lov'd me more than Life. I am sure I did him; and must own to you not without some Confusion, that I have thought on nothing else for these Two long Years, but the happy Life we should lead, together and the Means I should use to make my self still dearer to him. My Fortune was indeed much beyond his; and as I was always in the Company of my Relations, he was forced to discover his Inclinations, and declare himself to me by Stories of other Persons kind Looks and many Ways which he knew too well that I understood. Oh ! Mr. Bickerstaff, it is impossible to tell you, how industrious I have been to make him appear lovely in my Thoughts. I made it a Point of Conscience to think well of him, and of no Man else: But he has since had an Estate fallen to him, and makes Love to another of a greater Fortune than mine. I could not believe the Report of this at first; but about a Fortnight ago I was convinced of the Truth of it by his own Behaviour. He came to give our Family a formal Visit, when, as there were several in Company, and many Things talked of, the Discourse fell upon some unhappy Woman who was in my own Circumstances. It was said by one in the Room, That they could not believe the Story could be true, because they did not believe any Man could be so false. Upon which I stole a Look upon him with an Anguish not to be expressed. He saw my Eyes full of Tears; yet had the Cruelty to say, That he could see no Falshood in Alterations of this Nature, where there had been no Contracts or Vows interchanged. Pray, do not make a Jest of Misery, but tell me seriously your Opinion of his Behaviour; and if you can have any Pity for my Condition, publish this in your next Paper, that being the only Way I have of complaining of his Unkindness, and showing him the Injustice he has done me. I am
Your humble Servant,
The unfortunate Statira.

The Name my Correspondent gives her self, puts me in Mind of my old reading in Romances, and brings to my Thoughts a Speech of the renowned Don Bellianis, who, upon a Complaint made him of a discourteous Knight, that had left his injur'd Paramour in the same Manner, dries up her Tears with a Promise of Relief. ' Disconsolate Damsel, (quoth he) a foul Disgrace it were to all right worthy Professors of Chivalry, if such a Blot to Knighthood should pass unchastis'd. Give me to know the Abode of this Recreant Lover, and I will give him as a Feast to the Fowls of the Air, or drag him bound before you at my Horse's Tail.

I am not ashamed to own my self a Champion of distressed Damsels, and would venture as far to relieve them as Don Bellianis; for which Reason, I do invite this Lady to let me know the Name of the Traitor who has deceived her; and do promise not only her, but all the Fair Ones of Great Britain who lie under the same Calamity, to employ my Right Hand for their Redress, and serve them to my last Drop of Ink.





Advertisements.

*** Proposals for Printing the Lubrications of Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq; by Subscription, in Two Volumes in Octavo, on a Large Character, and Fine Royal Paper, are to be seen, and Subscriptions taken, at Charles Lillie's, a Perfumer, at the Corner of Beauford-Buildings in the Strand, and John Morphew's near Stationers-Hall.




Men's Morning Gowns, of rich Silks, Stuffs, Calicoes, &c. (being the Goods of a Person that sailed) to be disposed of at very low Rates; may be seen at the Olive-Tree and Still within three Doors of Young Man's Coffee-House, against the Horse at Charing-Cross. The Prices being set on each Gown. Catalogues of the Particulars to be had at the Place of Sale.




* * * There is now in the Press, and will be publish'd and ready to be delivered to the Subscribers by the Thirteenth Instant, Sir Orlando Bridgman's Conveyances, with, large Additions, and a new Table. Subscriptions will be taken an any Time before the publishing of the said Book, by the Undertaker J. Walthoe in the Middle-Temple Cloisters. For whom were lately Printed, The New Retorna Brevium, in 8vo. The Impartial Lawyer in 8vo. The Rules and Orders of the Common Pleas in 8vo. and the Modern Conveyancer, or Conveyancing Improv'd. In 3 Vol. in 8vo.




Just publish'd

* * * A neat Edition on an Elziver Letter, fit for the Pocket, and proper to be given away as New-Years Gifts, Private Thoughts on Religion, digested into 12 Articles, with practical Resolutions formed thereupon. By the Rt.Rev. Father in God W. Beveridge, D.D. late Lord Bishop of St.Asaph. Written in his younger Years for the settling of his Principles and Conduct of his Life. The 4th Edition. Price 1s. in Quires. 2d. bound in Sheep. and 1s. 6d. in Calf. Those that take a Hundred, will have Ten Gratis. Printed; and sold by R. Smith at his Ware-house in Exeter-Change in the Strand, and W. Taylor at the Ship in Pater-noster Row; where the whole Works may be had in Nine Volumes.




In a Month will be publish'd

*** The Compleat History of Europe, from 1600 to this Time, in 14. Vol. viz. all the last Century in 5 Vol. containing all the publick and secret Transactions therein; the Characters of the Great Men, as done by my Lord Clarendon; as also of the same Persons done by Sir P. Warwick, Mr. Whitlock, Mr. Rushworth, &c. and of those abroad written by Nanl Pussendorf, &c. the History of Europe for 1701, 1702, 1703, 1704, 1705, 1706, 1707, 1708, and 1709; in all 14 Vol. Printed for H. Rhodes by Fleet-Bridge, J. Nicholson in Little-Britain, and A. Bell at the Cross-Keys, Cornhill. Note, there are not above 100 compleat Sets of the above Vol. (and those for 1702, 1703, and 1704, are reprinted to make so many.) So all Gentlemen, Booksellers in the Country, &c. that intend to have compleat Sets, are desired to order them by the First of March next, when the History of Europe for 1709 will be published, that they may come together.




*** A short Method proposed to prevent the Desertion of Soldiers for the future, and to supply the Army with a large and speedy Recruit, our of the great Numbers of Deserters now in England. Humbly inscrib'd to the General Officers commanding the Foot and Marines. Printed for B. Barker, and C. King, at the White-Hart, and Judges-Head, both in Westminster-Hall.




* * * Bibliothecae Binae Insignes, viz. Basiraeanae & Lanaeanae. Or, A Catalogue of the Libraries of the lat Reverend Isaac Basire, D.D. and Tho. Lane, L.L.D. Which will begin to be sold by Auction at the Black-boy Coffee-house in Ave-mary-lane near Ludgate, this present Thursday, and every Evening at 5 a Clock, till the Sale is ended. By Tho. Ballard, Bookseller, at the Rising Sun in Little-Britain. Whole Catalogues are now to be had; as also of Mr. King in Westminster-hall, Mr. Stokoe against the Mews Gate, Mr. Vailliant over-against Bedford Buildings, Mr. Brown at Temple-bar, Mr. Ward in the Temple, Mr. Clements in St. Paul's Church-yard, Mr. Strahan at Cornhill, Booksellers, and at the Place of Sale. Price 6d.




This Day is publish'd>

*** A Review of the Case of Liturgies, and their Imposition. In Answer to Mr. Bennet's Brief History of Precompos'd set Forms of Prayer; and his Discourse of Joint-Prayer. By Benjamin Robinson, Minister of the Gospel. Printed for J. Clark at the Bible and Crown in the Old Change.




Musick just publish'd,

* * * A Second Edition of the Songs and Symphonies of the Opera called Clotilda: The Songs done in Italian and English, as they are performed at the Queen's Theatre. And next Week will be published, All the Songs set to Musick in the last new Opera called Almahide. Done from the Score, and engraven in a fair Character. Printed for J. Walsh, Servant in Ordinary to Her Majesty, and P. Randall, at the Harp and Hautboy in Katherine-street near Somerset-House in the Strand, and J. Hare at the Viol and Flute in Cornhil near the Royal Exchange.




AT the farther End of Chelsea, near the Water-side, is a House and good Gardens, with other Conveniencies, to be sold.




The Painful or Running Piles, either Outward or Inward, which do often end in Fistula's when neglected, are cured in 3 Days Time, by a pleasant Specifick Electuary, at 3s. the Gally-pot, which is sufficient for one Cure. Sold only by Mrs. Smith, who lodges at the Sign of the Sun without Ludgate, at the Corner of Bell-Savage-Inn, a Mercer's Shop.