Newspaper Transcripts
Some Selected Reports from The Windsor and Eton Express
Saturday, January 18th, 1840.
Her Majesty has forwarded to the Rev. Isaac Gosset the sum of forty pounds, to be laid out in clothing for the deserving needy persons of the borough of New Windsor, and the Queen Dowager has also forwarded to the Rev. Gentleman the sum of fifty pounds, for the same charitable purpose.- [A correspondent, in reference to the Royal bounty, thus gives this, which we conceive very sensible advice to the distributors : "We trust to see selected for this object, the most deserving persons, and not, as aforetime, the apparently most distressed; since the latter too often carry their 'gift' to the pawn shop, and waste the proceeds in dissipation, even before they reach their neglected homes."]
Lord Torrington, one of the Lords in Waiting on her Majesty, and the Hon. Col. Grey, one of the Royal Equerries, left Buckingham Palace on Tuesday in one of the Royal carriages-and-four, for Dover on their way to the Continent - They arrived at Dover in the evening, and immediately embarked on board the Fearless steamer for Ostend, to convey Prince Albert to this country.
Major Armstrong, late of the 20th Foot, has been appointed one of her Majesty's Military Knights of Windsor, vice Colonel Steel, deceased.
On Monday ninety-one poor persons received a shilling loaf each, the gift twice a year of the late Mr. Reeves, Mr. Panton, and Mrs. Elizabeth Webb. They were distributed by the mayor.
The home of a poor man named Higgins, situated on the verge of Woolmer Heath, or Marlow Common, was broken into last Saturday night by two ruffians, one of whom stood at the foot of the poor fellow's bed threatening to shoot him if he made any noise or resistance, whilst the other robbed him of him watch, nine shillings, and the provisions which he had obtained for his Sunday dinner, with which they all got clear away.
PIGEON SHOOTING.- On Tuesday an excellent day's shooting took place in Captain Bulkeley's grounds at Spital, at the conclusion of which the parties and their dined together at the Star and Garter Inn. During the evening a match was made for �10 aside, between two "crack" shots in this neighbourhood. The match will come off on Tuesday next, at the Hope Inn, Frogmore.
A SERMON LOST.- On Sunday week, as the Rev. Mr. Cotton was proceeding to do duty at the parish church of Datchet, he unfortunately lost his sermon from his pocket. Last Sunday the Rev. Gentleman was determined not to lose sight of his valuable preparation for the day, and he therefore took the precaution to hold it in his hand as he rode from Windsor to that village.
SERIOUS LOSS OF MONEY - On Monday evening last as a young married woman, named Barton, was proceeding from Eton to Chalvey, with her husband, to whom she had been lately married, she lost nine Bank of England �5 notes, which she supposes she must have pulled from her pocket with her handkerchief. The money thus lost were the savings of the young woman while in service, together with five pounds which her late mistress at Eton College had given her as a marriage present for her good conduct. Barton, we hear, is a carpenter, and lives at Chalvey, and the loss to the newly married couple is most serious.
MILITARY FUNERAL - On Thursday the funeral of first Lieutenant Charles Henry Chambers, of the Rifle Brigade, took place in the new burial ground, in this town. The death of this promising young Officer, which occurred on Monday after a few weeks illness, and who was only in his 25th year, is deeply regretted by his companions in arms, and by a large private circle. The funeral was strictly a military one. Shortly after two o'clock the procession left the Infantry Barracks in the following order:- The firing party consisting of 40 men; the band of the Brigade playing a solemn tune; the corpse in a handsome coffin, and covered with a splendid pall, preceded by Mr. Tebbott, under whose directions the funeral was conducted; the pall borne by first Lieutenants Ogilby and Wedderburn, of the 2nd Life Guards, and Lieutenants Belson, Wilkins, Watson, and Horsford, of the Rifle Brigade; six relatives and friends including the brother , uncle, and two cousins of the deceased, who were the chief mourners; then followed the whole of the Brigade Officers and privates not on actual duty. With the Officers of the Brigade at the close of the procession, we observed Colonel Greenwood and several other Officers of the 2nd Life Guards. The concourse of people was unusually great to witness the spectacle of an Officer's funeral, such an event not having taken place in Windsor since the funeral of Lieutenant-Colonel Beattie, of the 21st Fusiliers, many years ago. On arriving in the church, the service for dead was very impressively performed by the Rev. Mr. Gore, the whole of the troops and their Officers, together with a large portion of the public, being present. At its termination the procession was re-formed, and wended its slow way to the last resting place, viz, the new burial ground in one acre, where the body was deposited, the Rev. Mr. Gore reading the usual service. At its termination the firing party, under the command of Lieutenant Beresford, fired three vollies over the soldier's grave, and the melancholy proceedings terminated, the troops marched back to their Barracks, and the crowd dispersing. The deceased, who was the nephew of Mr. Mellish, of sporting celebrity, was only gazetted as first Lieutenant on the 2nd ult., and after being seized with his fatal illness. He had been in the Regiment about six years.
The young gentlemen of Eton College have returned to their studies, the vacation having terminated.
THEATRE ROYAL.- Monday evening was the bespeak of Col. Greenwood and the officers of the 2nd Life Guards, and proved by far the best house of the present season, the pit and gallery being filled at first price, and all the places in the dress circle being occupied by the beauty and fashion of the neighbourhood. We observed among the company, Col. Greenwood and other officers of the 2nd Life Guards, a numerous party of the family of Col. Vyse, Captain and Mrs. Bulkeley and party, Mr. and Misses Beale and party, Rev. R. Musgrave and party, Mr. and Miss Sturgess, Mrs. Thomson and family, T.R. Ward, Esq. and party, W.F. Riley, Esq., E. Foster, Esq., Mrs. Grover, Mr. Howell, Mr. Maddison, &c. &c. The pieces selected were, Buckstone's admirable comedy of "Married Life," and the musical piece of the "Turnpike Gate." The whole of the performers acquitted themselves well in their respective parts, and were much applauded. The excellent band of the regiment was in attendance, and enlivened the evening by playing several beautiful pieces of music. On Tuesday evening the performances were under the patronage of Lord Kinnaird, the master of her Majesty's stag hounds, on which occasion Mr. Sheridan Knowles repeated the part of Huon, in the play of "Love," of which he is the author. The getting up of this piece reflects the highest credit on the manager and the performers. The "Climbing Boy" concluded the evening's entertainments : we were sorry to observe so thin a house, as we had anticipated the novelty of one of the first authors of the day playing the principal character in one of his own pieces, would have at least induced the inhabitants of this town to have attended in greater numbers. On Wednesday evening the performances were for the benefit of Mr. Williams, the stage-manager. The bill of fare as regarded quantity was ample, and the house was very respectably attended. "Oliver Twist" was an exceedingly amusing piece, particularly to the 'gods.' The "Day after the Fair" was well supported by all the characters, and kept the audience in a roar of laughter from beginning to end; after a variety of singing and dancing, the pantomine of "Don Juan" concluded the evening's performances, and the audience went home well furnished with jokes for the next day's conversation. Last evening, the last of the season, the performances were Bulwer's play of "The Lady of Lyons," and "The Brigand," being for the benefit of Mr. Belville Penley; both pieces were excellently played, and gave the greatest satisfaction to the audience, whom we could have wished to have seen more numerous on this occasion. "God save the Queen" was well sung by the whole strength of the company, and thus concluded the season, which we fear has not proved a very profitable one.
MUTUAL IMPROVEMENT SOCIETY.- Mr. Richardson of the British Museum, delivered the closing Lecture of a series of four, descriptive of the south west portion of our island, at the Townhall, on Wednesday evening last, in behalf of the funds of this society. Mr.R combated some of those prejudices with which the pursuit of the new moral sciences is frequently regarded, and ably demonstrated the perfect harmony which exists between the revelations of Scripture and the discoveries of modern geology. Addressing himself next to the immediate subject of the evening, the Wealden series of deposits, he showed the Weald to be the mouth or estuary of a vast and mighty river, a Ganges or Oronooko of the primeaval earth; the organic remains discovered in these beds being entirely of fluviatile origin, and remarkable in particular for the colossal size of the reptile races, whose osseous structures are here discovered. Mr.R discoursed for a period of nearly two hours, to the evident gratification of his auditors, and having at the close of an eloquent address, brought he course to a termination, was honoured with a vote of thanks, which was ably proposed by Mr. Potter, and carried by the acclaimations of all present. Prior to commencing his discourse, he begged permission to read his translation of a poem by Prince Albert of Saxe Coburg, and delighted the audience with the recital of some very beautiful lines calculated to inspire a highly favourable idea of the talent and good feeling of the future consort of our young and interesting sovereign. Mr. Richardson we understand, is preparing for publication, a selection of songs and poems written and composed by the young princes Albert and Ernest. On Thursday evening next Mr. Albert Smith, of Chertsey, will deliver, at the Town-hall, the first of a course of two lectures on the ancient sports and pastimes of the people of England.
On the night of the 7th inst. or early the following morning, some person stole a brown mare from the stable of Mr. W. Rolfe, a basket maker at Bray. A reward has been offered for the apprehension of the offender.
DEPARTURE OF THE FROST.- The lovers of skating and sliding have had their sport put to an end for the present by the thaw of Monday night, and the continued mildness of the weather since that time. Sunday was a very grand day for all classes, and the ice on the waters in the parks and this neighbourhood generally were quite thronged with persons of all ages. In most of the frequented parts the water was not deep, had the ice given way. On Monday, however, a party of Windsor gentlemen, who visited the Lake at Virginia Water, met with an accident by the breaking of the ice, but we are happy to say no further inconvenience attended the disaster than a good wetting, although the accident bore an alarming aspect at one time. Saturday afternoon last was quite a jubilee for the sliding boys at the Goswells, the Rev. Mr. Cotton having promised to distribute a number of prizes in the shape of cakes, oranges, money, &c. to the most adept performers in sliding and racing in an angular direction. The muster was, in consequence, very numerous to receive Mr. Cotton as he approached the scene of action, and they welcomed his presence with loud cheers. The prizes were awarded by the Rev. gentleman as promised.
WINDSOR CORPORATION.
On Tuesday a special Town Council was called for the purpose of appointing an alderman in the room of Mr. Legh. Fifteen Councillors were present, besides the Mayor, viz. Messrs. Blunt, W. and J. Jennings, F. Twinch, Thos. Adams, H Adams, Snowden, Tebbott, Clarke, Clode (late of the Castle inn), Ingalton, Griffin, Hanson, Phillips, and Sharman.
The Mayor having informed the Council for what purpose they had met, and begged them to fill up their voting papers, if appeared that the unanimous choice fell on Mr. Banister, butcher of High-street, who was consequently declared duly elected alderman in the room of Mr. Legh.
The council then broke up.
WINDSOR POLICE - MONDAY.
[Before W. Berridge, Esq., (Mayor), and R. Blunt, Esq..]
SINGULAR LOSS OF A FIVE POUND NOTE - Mrs. Ann Sherwin, whose husband is Adjutant of the 2nd Regiment of Life Guards, attended before the magistrates to make a declaration as to her having accidentally destroyed a �5 note under the following circumstances :-
It appeared form the contents of the declaration, which was drawn up by the magistrates clerk (there being no printed forms applicable to such cases) that on the 8th instant Mrs. Sherwin received two five pound Windsor notes at Messrs. Neville Reid and Co.'s Bank. On the 10th, while sitting at her table, on which there were some useless papers, she threw them in the fire, but among them was one of the �5 notes, which, with the "useless papers," was speedily destroyed. On discovering her unfortunate mistake she went to the bank, and on relating the occurrence, the books of the firm were referred to, when to appeared that the number of the destroyed note was 2,892. She was also informed that on making a declaration before two magistrates (voluntary oaths being abolished by a recent statute), stating the facts, and on the certificate also of two officers of her husband's regiment, she would receive another note at the bank for the one destroyed.
The necessary form having been gone through, the lady departed, and she would only be minus the fee paid for drawing up the declaration.
A STURDY PAUPER.- William Ogleby, an athletic, stout, and healthy looking young fellow was charged by Mr. Reeve, the Master of the New Windsor workhouse, with absconding from that establishment, carrying with him the Union clothes.
It appeared that the prisoner was sent out by Mr. Reeve on the 5th of December, to work with other paupers, on the roads, under the superintendence of the Surveyor of the parish. Instead, however, of doing so, he absconded, and was not heard of again until Saturday last, when he returned and wished to be again received into the workhouse. As a warrant was then out for his apprehension, he was given into custody. If further appeared that he was an idle fellow, and his father had told Mr. Reeve he never would work. It did not appear that he had made away with any of the Union clothes.
The prisoner in his defence, said he went to London to see if he could get some money which was due to him, but finding he could not receive it until March, he tried, though ineffectually, to obtain work.
Mr. Blunt - Why, id you had asked leave of the Guardians, I dare say they would have let you go out to seek for work.
Prisoner.- I might have applied, but I don't think they would have granted it me.
Mr. Reeve explained that if he had applied he might have got leave, but then he would not have been allowed to take with him such clothes as those he had on. [The clothes were far superior to those of the generality of independent labourers.] Some time ago the prisoner's father sent him some clothes, but what he had done with them he (Mr. Reeve) had never been able to find out.
Mr. Blunt asked Simms, the gaoler, if the paupers who had been sent to the gaol for a short time for refusing work, complaining an insufficiency of food, were still in prison ?
Simms said they were not, as their time had expired.
Mr. Reeve - They have all come back to the workhouse. They complained of being starved while there before, but they were glad to come back again to the workhouse. That was a proof of how they were treated.
The Mayor sent the prisoner to hard labour in the borough gaol for seven days. He said it was unreasonable to suppose the Guardians could allow a pauper to go away from the workhouse, carrying with him the Union clothes, and returning when he thought proper, without punishing the offence.
POOR AND BOROUGH RATES.- A number of persons appeared to complaints preferred against them for non-payment of poor and borough rates. Several of the parties from poverty, illness, want of employ, &c. were excused. Others were allowed time for payment, and all the cases were disposed of according to the circumstances of the parties.
THURSDAY.
[Before W. Berridge, Esq., (Mayor), and R. Blunt, Esq..]
B<>Guttridge/ the bigamist, who was committed for trial a short time ago for having married a woman named Horne, living in Clewer-lane, his first wife being still alive, but who, on his trial at Aylesbury, was, by a lucky chance, acquitted, for reasons no-one but the jury can understand, was brought before the magistrates this day for deserting his first wife. He was committed to gaol for a month.
ETON POLICE - Wednesday.
[Before C. Clowes, Esq., the Rev. Thomas Carter, J.B. Sharpe, Esq. and the Rev. Mr. Champnes].
Thomas Flipney, a beer shop keeper at Denham, appeared to a summons charging him with keeping his house open at night beyond the hours allowed by the magistrates orders.
The case was proved by the constable of Denham, who deposed that on the night of Saturday, the 28th of December, after eleven o'clock, he went to the defendant's house, and saw about twenty people drinking and smoking.
Thomas Taplin, the driver of Messrs. Goddard's and Paice's omnibus, was charged with having wilfully come into collision with Mr. Lillywhite's omnibus, and damaging it to the extent of �2.
The evidence on both sides was so extremely conflicting, that the magistrates were unable to decide on whom the blame rested. They therefore, dismissed the case, and ordered each party to pay his own costs. Mr. Voules appeared for the complainant, and Mr. Darvill for the defendant.
Mrs. Hester Whitehouse was summoned at the instance of a Mr. Kimber, for, that she being the keeper of the turnpike gate Slough road, did on the 2nd of December, take more toll for sheep than was allowed by law.
Mr. Levi, the extensive toll lessee, attended to defend Mrs. Whitehouse, and Mr. Young, solicitor, of Warwick-square, attended to support the information.
Mr. Young applied that the case might be adjourned, as his witnesses, who lived a long distance off, were not in attendance. He stated that unless that was conceded to him, he should consent to the information being dismissed, and he would lay another one.
Mr. Levi objected to such a course, as both inconvenient and expensive.
After some discussion, the magistrates determined to enter into the case, when Mr. Young, having no witnesses to produce, the information was dismissed.
William Beasley was charged with assaulting David Nixey, and he was fined �1. 5s. including costs.
The Queen on Wednesday sent a donation of �50 to the "Manor Hall Refuge for Destitute Females Released from Prison," and her Majesty generously signified she would patronize the charity. The communication was made to the benevolent Mrs. Fry, whose great and effectual labours in behalf of unfortunate persons confined in prisons is so well known.
UNUSUAL OCCURRENCE.- On Wednesday, two horses, one rode by a farmer (the owner), near Wallingford, the other the property of a livery-stable keeper of this city, were killed while hunting near Shotover, from their heads coming in collision with each other. The riders, providentially were not hurt.- Reading Mercury.
KINGSTON PETTY SESSIONS (Monday) - NOVEL CHARGE - A man, dressed in tattered regimentals, named David Collins, was brought before the Magistrates, at the instance of the War-office, charged with defrauding the treasurer of the county of Surrey of the sum of thirteen shillings, being the amount expended for his maintenance in Kingston gaol for a period of twenty-six days, A gentleman, named Anderson, attended from the War-office. It appeared, from the evidence of a policeman and a sergeant of the 18th regiment, that the prisoner had given himself up as a deserter, and had been committed to the gaol of the county, and had been expelled the regiment ignominiously for various offences. He had been in the habit of surrendering himself at different places for the purpose of being conveyed to head-quarters, and had given the officers great trouble. He was committed under the Mutiny Act, to take his trial for obtaining the value of his maintenance in prison under false pretences.
BIRTH.
On the 5th inst., at Sutton Courtney, Berkshire, the lady of T.A. Allnutt, Esq., of a son.
MARRIED.
On the 14th inst., at Ruislip, Mr. W. Grainger, to Miss - Ratcliff, both of Uxbridge.
Lately at Hammersmith, J. Ward, Esq., of the Crescent, Clapham, to Mary Ann Morris, niece of J.C. Clifton, Esq. of Hammersmith.
DIED.
On the 11th inst., at Farley Hill Castle, near Reading, Emma, fourth daughter of the late Justinian Casamajor, Esq., of Potterells, in the county of Herts.
On the 12th inst., in Queen-street, Windsor, Mrs. Yates, aged 68 years, having survived her husband but a fortnight.
On the 16th inst., Catherine, daughter of Mr. Joseph Merrick, of Thames-street, Windsor, aged five years.
Lately at Ely, the son of Mr. E. Bradfield, lay clerk of Ely cathedral, aged five years.
BRENTFORD PETTY SESSIONS - SATURDAY.
MAY AND DECEMBER.- An octogenarian, named Daly, charged his "better half," about half a century his junior, with having threatened his life. It appeared from the evidence, that a few years since, the complainant, who is possessed of considerable freehold property in the county of Middlesex, took the defendant for "better or worse." Last Friday, when they had retired to rest, she threatened to run him through with a large carving-knife, saying she would not mind being hung for cutting his throat, and eventually she kicked him out of bed. He then went and fetched the parish constable, on whose appearance at the door she presented a horse pistol at him, threatening to shoot him, which she was, however, prevented doing. - The defendant, in her defence, pleaded some whisperings of the "green-eyed monster," and the bench, saying the case was an illustration of the old adage, "May and December can never agree," ordered her to find bail to keep the peace.
WESTMINSTER COURT OF REQUESTS.
AN OLD PROVERB (sue a beggar, &c.) CROSSED.- "All is not gold that glitters," any more than is all poverty that appears in rags. A pauper and a poor man are by no means synonimous terms - nor is the genuine London beggar, especially of the "fat, ragged, and saucy" sort, always that object of sympathy which his wretched exterior would lead the compassionate to imagine. Putting aside the well-known story of the olden time, of the vast wealth of the "Beggar of Bethnal-green," instances in the present day are not at all rare, of street mendicants bequeathing considerable amounts, amassed by them in the prosecution of their repulsive calling. That one, at least, has contrived to live like a "fighting cock," and run in debt like a gentleman, let the books of Thomas Jackson, a lodging-house keeper, testify. When the name of Moore, defendant, was called out, a wretched looking creature, seemingly a mere mass of penjury and patches, shuffled into the box. He was lucky enough to possess a set of features which all the good feeding in the world would fail to deprive of that look of starvation so invaluable to a London beggar.
The plaintiff handed his account book to the commissioners. In a very short period the defendant had run up a score for bed, board, beer, and tobacco, and other helps to jollification for himself and a pro. tem. Mrs. Moore, which amounted to nearly five pounds. This sum, at various payments, the defendant had reduced to 26s., the amount for which he was now sued.
The Chairman was apparently struck at the picture of wretchedness presented by the defendant, and with some surprise asked the plaintiff how he could be so incautious as to allow him to run into debt so largely?
Plaintiff - Cause I know'd, if he kept out of the ginshop, he could pay me that and a deal more too.
Chairman - What are his circumstances ?
Plaintiff - He sweeps a crossing in Bond-street.
Several Commissioners - Sweeps a crossing ! And you let him get �5 into your debt ?
Plaintiff - Why he has all his meat from Giblett's, the Queen's butcher, and his takings on the crossing don't average less than 5s. a day.
Defendant - Not in sitch heart breaking vether as ve've had this here last three months. Cant yarn half the "tin" as I could afore the vether turned agin me.
Commissioner - But the wet weather is all in your favour I should think.
Defendant - Oh no ! quite t'other - It might be an hadwantage at t'other end of the town, but not among us fashionable sveepers. Its werry true ve gets a sight a broken wittles from the tradesfolks, but 'at aint vot ve wants - it�s the coppers as ve likes 'em to drop.
Commissioner - Then it appears fine weather suits you best.
Defendant - Not too fine nor too vet, 'cause that hobligates us to vork so hard vith our brooms, and likevise 'cause them as ve looks most arter vont take no hairing afoot, but goes in their own wehicles or cabs. 'Cant promise no more 'an sixpence a veek till the vether halters, or the "nobs" come to town.
Plaintiff - He ought to pay more. He can afford to keep a "marm" and treat her on Sunday afternoon to an exotic excursion to Greenwich Park.
Taking all circumstances into consideration, the Court made an order on the defendant for the payment of four shillings per month.
MIDDLESEX COURT OF REQUESTS.
"Neither shape nor make," - Household Phrase.
The immortal Shakspeare says, "There is a divinity doth shape our ends, rough hew them how we will." Some persons there are who will have that Fashion is presided over by a Divinity : be it so, but it must be confessed that the votaries of the goddess frequently torture her into more shapes than ever Proteus did himself, and that some of such shapes (admitting the beauty and fascination of others) are ten thousand times as ugly, though not quite so dangerous as the monsters into which that change loving personage is recorded to have twisted himself. In what "departments" of fashion are the ladies (begging their pardon) more fastidious than in those of corsets and bonnets ? And what an intensity and variety of expression is often thrown into, and how much is indeed really meant by the words, "Well, I declare it has neither shape nor make ! What a monstrosity !" Think of all this, and then picture.
Mrs. Johnson, a bonnet-maker, and Mrs. Williams, a stay-maker, appearing before Mr. Commissioner Dubois, the one dissatisfied with her cottage-bonnet, and the other enraged at the shape and size of her stays - each desperately out of humour with the other's "goods" and notions of fashion.
Mrs. Williams was a fine tall stout woman, and Mrs. Johnson very short and thin, but she was as fiery as a parched pea, and made up in vehemence and motion what she lacked in height and size.
"Which of you ladies," said Mr. Commissioner Dubois, "is the plaintiff."
"I sir," said Mrs. Johnson, "I am the aggrieved party in this scandalous affair," at the same time getting upon her own tip toes, and looking very vengeful at the defendant.
"Better words, madam, if you please," said Mrs. Williams, rather warmly. "I ought to be the plaintiff in this matter; and if you had not summoned me, I should most assuredly have brought you into court."
"And, ma'am," returned Mrs. Johnson, "if it had not been for a relation of mine who is, in the law, I would have taken you to a very different court; - I would have taken you to the ecclesiastical court, madam, I would, for your abuse."
"State your case, Mrs. Johnson," said Mr. Commissioner Dubois.
Mrs. Johnson proceeded to state that, while taking an evening walk with her husband, she was "struck with a pair of stays" in Mrs. Williams's shop window, and that she entered the shop and ordered a pair to be made "exactly like them in shape and quality." When the stays were sent home, however, she found them "lapped over six inches."
"It's all owing to your own vanity, madam," said Mrs. Williams.
Mrs. Johnson (tossing up her head) - I have the things here (pulling them from under her cloak and throwing them on the table), they are of no use to me; the things have neither shape nor make, and I demand 30s of the woman for the Tuscan bonnet I supplied her with.
Mr. Commissioner Dubois - What have you to say to this, Mrs. Williams ?
Mrs. Williams said that Mrs. Johnson took a fancy to a pair of stays, the pattern of a pair made for Lady ----, who (said she) is a tall fine figure (looking down upon Mrs. Johnson contemptuously, as much as to say "Not such a little bit of a thing as you") I told her that a pair of stays that size would not fit her, but she persisted that she knew her own size and shape best, and that must make them the exact pattern. The stays were made to order and sent home, and, as I had foreseen, they were much too large. She sent them back, and I altered them again and again."
Mrs. Johnson - Yes, and they always fitted me scandalously.
"And here," said Mrs. Williams, getting somewhat irritated, a "Here is a pretty bonnet she sent me home ! (certainly it was a "pretty" one, it being the shape and size something like a barn door fowl.) She has the effrontery to call this a "cottage" bonnet. And Mrs. Williams bobbed it up and down by the strings, to the great amusement of all present.
Mrs. Johnson was determined not to be outdone. She opened the stays in a twinkling of an eye, and held them up by the laces. "Here's an infamous pair of stays for 17s !" said she.
"A pretty sort of a bonnet for 30s !" retorted Mrs. Williams.
"Hopsacks !" shrieked Mrs. Williams, swinging the stays to and fro with vengeance.
"A coal-scuttle !" screamed Mrs. Williams, "bobbing" the "cottage" with increased energy.
"My bonnet is in the first style of fashion," cried Mrs. Williams.
"My stays are honoured by the nobility and gentry, " said Mrs. Johnson.
"Now, really ladies," said Mr. Commissioner Dubois, very good humouredly, "you must moderate your dialogue; indeed you must. Pray, Mrs. Johnson - Mrs. Williams - really I shall be obliged to dismiss the case if you will go on so."
Mrs. Johnson - I have been most cruelly treated by her. When I called upon her she laughed in my face. "Oh, Mrs. Johnson" said she, ��. I'll make you try them on before the judge and jury, and nicely you'll be laughed at, madam !"
Mrs. Williams - Oh, the wicked woman ! she abused me in a shocking manner, and told me she'd make me take off my bonnet and show my false hair !
"Oh !" exclaimed Mrs. Johnson.
Mrs. Williams (quite in a passion) - Yes, madam, your abuse was as abominable as your bonnets are ugly.
"Ugly, ma'am ! ugly, ma'am !" screamed Mrs. Johnson. "Look at these hop-sacks!" and again she swung the stays to and fro with fury.
The Commissioner again interposed, and after the two ladies had passed a multitude of opinions upon each others taste, they were prevailed upon to enter into a compromise.
HATTON-GARDEN.
THE CONSEQUENCE OF KISSING IN PUBLIC.- Mr. Howell, of Theobald's-road, was charged with assaulting James Cowell, under the following curious circumstances :- The complainant, in crossing the street opposite the defendant's house, saw him bring a lady to the window, and there kiss her several times. Struck by so novel an exhibition, he burst our laughing, when Mr. Howell rushed from the house, knocked him down, and kicked him when on the ground.
The defendant angrily said, "How dare the vagabond laugh at me - it was my own wife I was kissing ?" - [loud laughter, at which the defendant was very wroth.]
Mr. Combe said he often kissed his wife, but not at the window; and if he had seen the defendant doing so, he would have laughed too; he thought the defendant was very intemperate.
This Mr. Howell denied, and getting into a violent passion, exclaimed, "How dare the fellow laugh at me ?"
Mr. Combe said that his assertion was now proved by the defendant, whom he ordered to pay a fine of 10s. and costs, and strongly advised him not to kiss at a window again.