Novice Farmer Here lies Clyde Whose life was full Until he tried To milk a bull |
Tightrope Walker Used no net Knew no fear Made mis-step Wound up here |
English Churchyard Beneath this stone, a lump of clay Lies Arabelly Young Who on the twenty-fourth of May Began to hold her tongue |
Storrington England Here lies the body of Edward Hyde We laid him here because he died |
A Baker Throughout his life he kneaded bread And deamed it quite a bore And now six feet beneath earth's crust He needth bread no more |
Physician, I. Letsome When people's ills, they come to I I physics, bleeds, and sweats 'em Sometimes they live, sometimes they die Whats that to I? I. LESTOME |
Concord, Mass Farmer in Debt Ephriam Wales Bull He sowed Others reaped |
Bartender This is on me, boys |
Disgruntled Son in Maryland My father and mother were both insane I inherited the terrible stain My grandfather, grandmother, Aunts and uncles Were lunatics all And yet died of carbuncles |
Montrose, South Dakota To he who passes by, as you are, So once was I As I am now, thou soon shalt be So prepare thyself to follow me |
James Alberry He slept beneath the moon He basked beneath the sun He livd a life of going-to-do And left with nothing done |
See Above To follow thee Is not my intent Unless I know Which way you went |
Uniontown, PA Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake Stepped on the gas pedal Instead of the brake |
5-year old, Hameden, CT Soon ripe Soon rotten Soon gone But not forgotten |
John Penny, Winborn, ENG Reader if cash thou art In want of any Dig 4 feet deep And thou wilt find a Penny |
Schoolcraft, Mich. Born of woman Killed by lead I most likely Had your wife in bed |
Contented Man Here I lie snug as a bug in a rug |
Nearby Relative Here I lie snugger than that other bugger |
East Dalhousie,Nova Scotia Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102 The Good Die Young |
Vermont Widow Sacred to the memory of Jared Bates Who died August the 6th, 1800 His widow, aged 24, lives at 7 Elm Street And yearns to be comforted |
Edinburgh, Scotland Beneath this stone a lump of clay Lies Uncle Peter Dan'els Who early in the month of May Took off his winter flannels |
Harry Edsel Smith 1903-1942 Looked up the elevator shaft To see if the car was On the way down. It was! |
Anna Walace, Ribbesford, ENG The children of Israel wanted bread And the Lord sent them manna Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife And the Devil sent him Anna |
New Jersey Julia Adams Died of thin shoes April 17, 1839 Age 19 years |
Samuel Brenton, Stockbridge, Mass Was suddenly killed at early dawn July 4th, 1842 By the explosion of a small canon Aged 15 years |
Ellen Shannon, Girard, Penn Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 By the explosion of a lamp Filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid" |
Hartscombe, England On the 22nd of June Jonathan Fiddle Went out of tune |
Owen Moore, London Gone Away Owin' more Than he could pay |
A Skeptic I was not I am not I grieve not |
Stowe, Vermont I was somebody Who, is no business Of yours |
Talkirk, England At rest beneath this slab of stone Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt He died one morning just at ten And saved a dinner by it |
Ruidoso, New Mexico Here lies Johnny Yeast Pardon me For not rising |
Life of Riley Here lies Kelly We buried him today He lived the life of Riley When Riley was away |
Ashby de la Zooch, ENG newborn Opened my eyes Took a peep Didn't like it Went back to sleep |
Lincoln, Maine He found a rope and picked it up And with it walked away It happened that to the other end A horse was hitched, they say They took the rope and tied it up Unto a hickory limb It happened that the other end Was somehow hitched to him |
HUH??? In memory ov John Smith Who met wierlent death neer this spot 18 hundred and 40 too. He was shot by his own pistill. It was not one of the new kind, But a old fashioned brass barrel, And of such is the Kingdom of heaven |
Tombstone, Arizona Here lays Butch We planted him raw He was quick on the trigger But slow on the draw |
Enosburg Falls, Vermont Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go |
Rock Valley, Mass We all have a debt To nature due I've paid mine And so must you |
Kent, England Grim death too me Without any warning I was well at night And dead in the morning |
Nantucket, Mass Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease He is not here, there's only the pod Pease shelled out and went to God |
Dorsetshire, England Here lies the body Of Margaret Bent She kicked up her heels And away she went |
Colorado Bill Blake Was hanged by mistake |
Nevada Here lies a man named Zeke Second fastest draw in Cripple Creek |
Boot Hill Here lies Lester Moore Four shots from a .44 No Less No more |
Douglas County, Nebr I am woman Hear me roar And Boy did she |
Elkhart, IN Teacher School is out Teacher has gone home |
Sheep Thief in Ireland Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp Who lived by wool and died by hemp |
Burlington, Mass Here lies the body of Susan Lowder Who burst while drinking Seidlitz Powder Called from this world to her heavenly rest She should have waited till it effervesced |
Ravlunda, Sweden Here beneath rest the ashes of a man who was in habit of always postponing everything till the day after. However, at last he improved and really died Jan. 31, 1972 |
Florida Ma loved Pa Pa loved women Ma caught Pa with one in swimmin' Here lies Pa |
Chapel Hill, NC I was Carolina born And Carolina bred And her I lay Carolina dead |
Cripple Creek, CO He called Bill Smith a liar |
Colorado Springs her husband buried in Texas I would rather be here than in Texas |
New Hampshire Tears cannot restore her Therefore I weep |
Middlebury, Vermont I put my wife beneath this stone For her repose and for my own |
Athiest, Arthur Haine Haine haint |
Marlborough, NH 1829 The land I cleared is now my grave Think well, my friends, how you behave |
Tightwad? Thorp's Corpse When wife died, changed to: Here lieth Thorpses Corpses |
Housewife I plant these shrubs upon your grave dear wife That something on this spot may boast of life Shrubs must wither and all earth must rot Shrubs may revive, but you thank Heaven will not |
An Inventor Here lies Salvino Armalo D'Armati Of Florence The inventor of spectacles May God pardon his sins! The year 1318 |
Ripon, York fisherman Here lies poor but honest Bryan Tunstall He was a most expert angler until Death Envious of his art, threw out his line Hooked him and landed him here the 21st day of April 1790 |
Abe Bell, fireworks maker He had gone to the only place Where his own works are excelled |
Burlington, Vermont She lived with her husband fifty years And died in the confident hope of a better life |
Essex, England Here lies the man Richard, And Mary his wife, Whose surname was Prichard They lived without strife And the reason was plain They abounded in riches They had no care nor pain And his wife wore the britches |
Eufaula Historical Cemetery 36-33-01-24-17 Honey you don't know what you did for me Always playing the lottery The numbers you picked came into play Two days after you passed away For this, a huge monumnet I do erect For now I get a yearly check How I wish you were alive For now we are worth 8.5 |
Eliza More Here lies one who never lied before And one who never will lie More To which there need be no More said |
England Sir John Strange Here lies an honest lawyer And that is Strange |
Mr. Day was tall As long as long can be So long so long was he How long, how long, dost say? As long as the longest Day |
Mr. Fish Worms are bait for fish But here's a sudden change Fish is bait for worms Is not that passing strange? |
Waynesville, NC Come blooming youths, as you pass by And on these lines do cast an eye As you are now, so once was I As I am now, so must you be Prepare for death and follow me Added beneath To follow you I am not content How do I know which way you went |
Samuel Crane Here lies the body of Samuel Crane He ran a race with a passenger train He got to the crossing and almost across Sam and his car was a total loss Sam's spirit now tolls his knell That Sam is on his way to .. well If he only took time to stop look and listen He'd be living now instead of missin' |
Johnny Here's to Johnny quite a guy Very sad he had to die All was well could not be better 'Till he wrote my girl a letter |
Boot Hill He was young He was fair But the Injuns Raised his hair |
Australia Wherever you be Let your wind go free For holding it in Was the killing of me |
Coffee Drinker Here lies cut down like unripe fruit The wife of Deacon Amos Shute She died of drinking too much coffee Anny Dominy eighteen forty |
New England I told you I was sick |
An ossified corpse He died hard |
Margaret Daniel, Richmond, VA She always said her feet were killing her But nobody believed her |
Hookstown, PA with marijuana etching Hi Stay high Bye |
Youngster killed in a fire Little Willy in the best of sashes Played with fire and was burnt to ashes Very soon the room got chilly But no one liked to poke poor Willy |
Oconto Falls, WI Here lies the body of a man who died Nobody mourned-Nobody cried How he Lived-How he fared Nobody knows-Nobody cared |
Joyce Woodfin Here lies Joyce She'd rather not But no choice |
Arthur C. Homans, Cleveland Once I wasn't Then I was Not I ain't again |
Also Joyce Woodfin Assuming my death has ocurred And five doctors have concurred Please revive me If you can get no breath Take the person who caused my death And bury then right beside me |
Niagra Falls, Canada Here lies the body of Ephriam Wise Safely tucked between his two wives One was Tillie and the other Sue Both were faithful, loyal, and true By his request in ground that's hilly His coffin is set tilted toward Tillie |
East Derry, NH I don't know how to die |
Ontario, Canada A victim of fast women and slow horses |
Julian Skaggs, West Virginia I made an ash of myself |
North Carolina spinster postmistress Returned - Unopened |
Charles A. Miller, Vineland, NJ I came I know not whence I go I know not whither |
Schenectady, NY He got a fish-bone in his throat And then he sang an angel note |
Asa Barton, Norway, ME His faults are buried with him Beneath this stone His virtues (if he had any) Are remembered by his friends |
Lebanon, Connecticut As a stranger she did die In strange lands she doth lie Here by strangers she was laid And her funeral charges paid |
Untrustworthy Here lies a man who while he lived Was happy as a linnet He always lied while on the earth And now he's lying in it |
Pioche, Nevada Here lies Slip McVey He would be here today But bad whiskey and a fast gun Put him away |
Roxbury, Conn Eliza, sorrowing Rears this marble slab To her dear John Who died of eating crab |
Robert Phillip, gravedigger Her I lie at the Chancel door Here lie I because I am poor The farther in the more you pay Here I lie as warm as they |
Attorney Goembel John E. 1867-1946 "The defense rests" |
Gravedigger Hooray my brave boys Lets rejoice at his fall For if he had lived He would have buried us all |
Moultrie, Georgia Here lies the father of 29 He would have had more But he didn't have time |
Brookland, Arkansas Dr. Fred Roberts 1875-1931 Office upstairs |
John Dryden for his wife Here lies my wife Here let her lie Now she's at rest And so am I |
Lettuce Manning Oh cruel death To satisfy thy palate Cut down our Lettuce To make a salad |
Messages to a wife 1890. The light of my life has gone out 1891. I have struck another match |
Tribute? Here lies Ned There is nothing more to be said Because we like to speak well of the dead |
Coal miner Gone underground for good |
Music Conductor Stephen and time are now both even Stephen beat time and now time's beat Stephen |
London Here lies Ann Mann Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann Dec. 8, 1767 |
Beza Wood, Winslow, Maine Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood One Wood within another The outer wood is very good We cannot praise the other |
Mr. Mudd Here lies Matthew Mudd Death did him no hurt When alive he was Mudd But new he's only dirt |
Anthony Drake Sacred to the memory of Anthony Drake Who died for peace and quietness sake His wife was constantly scolding and scoffin So he sought for repose in a twelve-dollar coffin |
Paris, France Tired of this eternal buttoning And unbuttoning |
Thurmont, Maryland Here lies an atheist All dressed up and no place to go |
Auctioneer Jedediah Goodwin Auctioneer Born 1828 Going! Going! Gone! 1876 |
Connemora This empty urn is Sacred to the memory Of John Revere Who died abroad In Finistere If he had lived He would have been Buried here |
Oxford, England Here lies the body of Elred At lease he will be when he is dead But now at this time he's still alive 14th August '65 |
Dear Sister Here lies the body of Mary Ford We hope her souls is with the Lord But if for Hell she's changed this life Better live there than as J. Ford's wife |
Streatham, England Here lies Elizabeth My wife for 47 years And this is the first damn thing She ever done to oblige me |
Glasgow, Scotland Here beneath this stone we lie Back to back my wife and I And when the angels trump shall trill If she gets up than I'll lie still |
New Shoreham, RI Captain Thomas Coffin Died 1842, age 50 years He's done a-catching cod And gone to meet his God |
Belturbet, Ireland Here lies the body Of John Round Lost at sea And never found |
Irish Grocer Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer The world is not worth a fig And I have good raisins For saying so |
Lubbock, Texas He burnt his candle at both ends It did not last the night But oh, my dears, and oh, my friends It made a lovely light |
Nitro Glycerin Driver, 1880's The man buried here literally Went to the four winds |
Wiltshire, England Blown upward out of sight He sought the leak by candlelight |
Marblehead, Mass Here lies the body of Jane Gordon With mouth almight And teeth accordin' |
Woodville, England The dust of Melantha Gribbling Swept up at last By the Great Housekeeper |
Charleston, SC Reader, I've left this world, in which I had a world to do Sweating and fretting to get rich Just such a fool as you |
Boston, Mass First a cough Carried me off Then a coffin They carried me off in |
Hillaire Belloc Here richly, with ridiculous display The politician's corpse was laid away While all of his acquaintance sneered and slanged I wept for I had longed to see him hanged |
Hartford, Conn Those who cared for him while living Will know wose body is buried here To others it does not matter |
Housewife Grieve not for me my husband dear I am not dead but sleeping here With patience wait-perforce to die And in a short time you'll come to I The husband added: I am not grieved my dearest life Sleep on. I've got another wife Therefore I cannot come to thee For I must go and live with she |
Tussell J. Larsen, Logan, UT Two things I love most Good horses and beautiful women And when I die I hope they tan This old hide of mine and make It into a ladies riding saddle So I can rest in peace Between the two things I love |
Ivy Saunders, Shutesbury Here lies my husbands 1-2-3 As still as men could ever be As for the fourth, praise be to God He still abides above the sod Abel, Seth and Leidy were the first 3 names And to make things tidy I'll add his-James |
Harwichport Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson A pious Christian and Affectionate husband His disconsolate widow Continues to carry on His grocery business At the old stand on Main Street: Cheapest And best prices in town. |
Unknown He looked For gold And died of Lead poison |
Jones Here lid the bones of Private Jones For whom war held no terrors A private then, a private now No runs, no hits, just errors |
Dentist John D. Cudd, DMD Filling his last cavity |
Covington, VA I made a lot of deals in my lifetime But I sure went in the hole on this one |
Devon, England Here lies in horizontal position the outside case of Dear George Routleight, watchmaker, whose abilities in that line were an honor to his profession. Integrity was the mainspring, and prudence the regulator of all the actions of his life. Humane, generous and liberal, his hand never stopped until he had relieved distress. So nicely regulated were his movements that he never went wrong, except when set agoing by people who did not know his key; even then he was easily set right again. He had the art of disposing his time so well that the hours glided away in one continued round of pleasure and delight, till an unlucky moment put a period to his existence. He departed this life November 14, 1802, aged fifty-seven. Wound up in hopes of being taken in hand by his Maker and being thoroughly cleansed, repaired, and set agoing in the world to come. |
Tired Housewife Here lies a poor woman Who was always tired She lived in a house Where help was not hired Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing but everything there is exact to my wishes for where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes Don't mourn for me now Don't mourn for me never I'm going to do nothing For ever and ever." |