The Stub-Tailed Cow: Major Ned Wynkoop, a Colorado pioneer, lying sick at the present time at Ojo Caliente, New Mexico, is not too ill to tell tales, and the other day he related the following experience to a correspondent of this paper: "A long time ago, when I was pioneering and soldiering in Colorado, we put up a joke on some officers of the United States army. My party and I were a long way off from the comforts of civilized life, and our only neighbors were the garrison of a United States fort.
    "We did pretty well for rations, had plenty of salt-meat and flour, but milk was not to be had for love or money, and as we all longed for the delicacy we thought it pretty mean that the officers at the fort, who had two cows--a stub-tailed one and a black and white one--offered us no milk, although we threw out many and strong hints that it would be acceptable. At last, after much consultation, we decided to teach them a lesson, and borrow or steal one of those cows, just as you choose to put it.
    "But how it could be done without the cow being at once identified and recovered was the question. At last we hit on a plan. One of our party was dispatched on a day's ride to the nearest slaughter-house, where he procured a long, red cow's tail to match the color of the stub-tailed cow, after possessing ourselves of which animal we neatly stitched our purchase to the poor stub, and with appetites whetted by long abstinence we drank and relished the sweet milk which 'our cow' gave.
    "A few days afterward we were honored by a call from the commander of the fort. 'Say, boys,' said he, 'we have lost one of our cows.' Of course we felt very sorry and expressed our regrets accordingly. 'But,' continued the commander, 'I came over to say that if that cow of yours had a stub-tail, I should say it was ours.' 'But she hasn't a stub-tail, has she?' asked we, sure of our point. 'No,' said the officer, 'she certainly hasn't a stub-tail.' 'Well, she isn't your cow, then,' and our argument was unanswerable, and we continued to enjoy fresh milk as long as we remained in camp."

Source:

Unknown, "The Stub-Tailed Cow," Field and Farm. Devoted to the Agricultural Interests of the Great West, Denver, Colorado, Volume 12, No. 8, (August 8, 1891), p. 6.

    I would like to thank Jim Kroll, [email protected], Manager of the Western History/Genealogy Department of the Denver Public Library, yet again for his generosity. I've wanted a full copy of this story since I first read about it in Louis Kraft's article, "Ned Wynkoop's Early Years on the Frontier." He made that happen. Many, many thanks, Jim.

    All my best,

    Chris